One morning this week Stephie and I decided to go for a run. The world wasn’t awake yet. Fog put a roof over everything. At one particular curve, it descended like a veil, obscuring the road beyond. For a minute we ran here worried the rest of our run would be limited to this perspective– a few yards of road to the right, guard-rail to the left, slice of asphalt just ahead. But then we broke through the veil, and the fog soared high above us. The mist lifted from the crest of the hill that was outlined sharp against the sky. The trees were green and alive, shaking their leaves in the morning light. When we turned around, high above us where the ceiling of white shred apart, we spotted a cotton candy sky and the sun-tipped tops of peach colored clouds.
This is how my life feels sometimes– walled in by all-obscuring white, only able to see what is on my left and on my right. If I’m lucky an inch ahead. Most days I can’t even tell MYSELF what God is doing, let alone anyone else who might ask. Some days it feels like He’s doing nothing, because I run and run, and all I see is the white. What’s to my left and to my right. If I’m lucky an inch ahead.
For a runner I can imagine no harder thing than a vanishing finish line– a retreating goal. If you run and think it’s impossible to reach the thing you’re running toward, the temptation to give up is almost impossible to fight. My life feels like that sometimes– running, running, running– and I’m terrified sometimes it might just be a big circle I’m following to no end.
God’s perspective is the one above the fog, the one whose eyes pierce through, who knows exactly where all His most precious possessions stand. I have to remind myself of that more times than I can count. Yes, sometimes monotony or a closed in perspective, a set of circumstance that never seems to change can stick with us for years, can grind us down worse than a millstone, but we are moving toward something if we trust Christ. And just like when perspective returns after the fog stripped it down to one little box, one day God will open our eyes, and we will see just exactly what He’s doing and what He had us running toward all along.
There IS something better than this.
Even if I have to wait until eternity to see it.
May it be more beautiful than cotton candy colored skies and clouds tipped in peach sunshine.
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”